Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Everyone needs an introduction and my blog is no exception. My background, briefly..more will come through out the blog, but hey I have to start somewhere, right?

The title says a lot and the blog address says more, but let me expand on this if you haven't gotten the gist of where this blog is going. I am a submissive, bi-sexual male, I enjoy S/M, crave to be dominated. This blog will be filled with my actual experiences, my fantasies and failures, and my thoughts and feelings on my experiences, both sexual and emotional.

I'd like to say that I am proud of my lifestyle, my fantasies and my experiences, but the reality is they leave me overburdened with guilt, denial and frustration, my blog will explore my experiences and the negative effects of my feelings of guilt and frustration.

It took years for me to accept my craving for these desires and fantasies. Once I did I proceeded timidly, but I began to seek out more. Eventually, I thought I found a partner to fulfill my desires, although accepting of my desires, my current relationship, is based more on deception and leaves me unfulfilled, sexually and emotionally, my blog will explore this and other relationships and the one I truly desire.

Let me say that 90% of my fulfillment and pleasure comes from fulfilling others desires, but.. somethings I need. I crave, I just can't live without, my blog will explore my desires and cravings in more detail.

Anyway, my current relationship is with a woman, I shall call her Mistress D., the D stands for deceiver, frankly because she is a MASTER OF DECEPTION AND LIES.. Mistress D, my blog will have entries of Mistress D and her effects and on my life.

Before I continue with Mistress D, my attraction is split 50/50 between men and women, my sexual experiences with women have been "Vanilla" and with men have been more extreme and filled with guilt. For me, men and women bring fulfillment and sexual gratification in different and unique ways, my blog will explore my sexual experiences and desires for both men and women, what I find erotic and pleasurable about them in more detail.

Back to Mistress D, Although closer to the relationship I desire, much is lacking. Aware of my desires, sexually Mistress D moved enthusiastically from another state. We lived together for 5 months before we got married.

The deception is this: Initially she seemed interested in participating in the sexual aspects of this lifestyle. Honestly stating she'd never done anything like this before. We proceeded.

Her participation ended immediately after marriage, her job-hunting ended and..well frankly she enjoys having someone serve her, but in a different sort of way it is not sexual, which I miss and it is ..well although cooking for her cleaning for her and doing everything for her is arousing for me, she does it more out of laziness than a desire for fulfillment, if this makes sense,I will post on this also.

Finally, this where I am at, Indianapolis Indiana. Let me go and masturbate.